The PERFECT Mom

All I ever wanted to be was a Mom. I loved kids. I loved family. And I thought I had things figured out. I not only planned to be a GOOD Mom, I planned to be the PERFECT mom!

As a young girl all I ever dreamed about was becoming a mom.  I loved kids.  I loved family.  It was my passion.  I never cared about high profile jobs or having a career or having a degree.  I just wanted a family.  And for some reason, I thought I could be the perfect mom.  Not just good,  but perfect.   (I can hear you laughing now.)  I thought I had things figured out…I could change diapers and bathe and feed.  I loved them like a real mother bear.  I could play with them and make creative messes with them and put up cute holiday decorations and cook wonderful meals and make bread and bake cookies.  You see, all of this stuff is important mom stuff.  Stuff I had seen the good moms do when I was growing up.  Especially the cookies part.

 REALITY

As you can well imagine, it didn’t take long into motherhood to find out that I wasn’t perfect. Although I could do many of the things mentioned above, I never took into account FATIGUE, and several four foot piles of dirty laundry, and missing socks and missing spoons, and fatigue, and thousands of dumped legos and throwing rocks at each other and stubbornness and defiance and ingratitude and fatigue, and your kids not caring if they brushed their teeth or their  hair or if they even bathed or showered for weeks on end and if they wore the same clothes every day for weeks on end and if they changed their clothes 13 times a day because they wanted to wear something different.  Or if you were so busy you’d forget a child or SEP’s or scouts or a party; or if you’d wonder if you could ever remember anything ever again.  Or when those dreams of neatly dressed children sitting reverently in church were shattered by missing shoes; and a fight from home to church (one block away) messed up their hair and untucked their clothes.  Or when your visions of these spiritual family home evenings where your kids loved and listened to your well-prepared lessons were interrupted by people standing on their heads, punching each other, crying because it wasn’t their turn to pray.  Or when you wondered if you owned a wing at the hospital for the numbers of times you’d been there to get stitches and you hoped you weren’t turned in to Social Services and people would understand that they were just active kids.  And fatigue.  And wondering if Heaven ever heard ANY prayer at your house.

It was hard.  Being a mom was HARD.  And TIRING.  And I just never knew if I would ever have done enough to be good enough for my kids.  I mean, they’re REALLY good kids and they deserve a good mom.

Now What?

Somewhere along the way in motherhood, probably about the time the oldest few were graduating and moving on, I began to wonder what was next for me.  Although I still had some at home, I realized that as my kids moved on and began families of their own, they needed to be with them and give their families their time and they didn’t need me quite so much.  So now what was I going to do?  All I had ever dreamed about was being a mom.  Not that you ever quit being a mom, but the demands on me weren’t the same and I wondered what I was supposed to do with my life to make the world a better place.  One can only bake so much bread.  And cleaning really isn’t my favorite thing.  Neither is yard work.

 

At this crossroads and due to some difficult circumstances, my heart began to change and I was kneeling before the Lord as I have never done before.  Guided and inspired to some classes and books and courses, I realized what I was missing.  I had lost sight of who I truly was as a Daughter of God.  I began to understand that we are all here to BECOME.  To become what??  Well, that varies from person to person based on your own gifts and talents, but the main purpose is to become like Him and to come back to Him– to our home, to our Heavenly Father.

Recently, I have discovered that it is okay to be imperfect as long as I am working toward perfection. And more than that, I have realized that my funny stories, success, failures, and triumphs are important to share to help any of you out. I’m here to champion mothers (and dads and families) because that will always be the most important thing in our life.

 

I realized that though I would always be a mother, my duties would vary as they got older and that there was still great work for me to do in the world in helping and serving and giving to others.  I am still on that quest of becoming….each of us are.  However, we can strive each day to become good or great at one thing.  Perhaps it is to be a better listener, a better friend, more kind.  Perhaps we want to work on acknowledging the good things others do for us.  Maybe it is about developing a talent we have.  Whatever gift you have been given, you can use it to generate good in the world.  And this site is a part of my becoming– figuring out who I am.

One day I just sat there and wondered who I really was and what I was about.  Then I realized that I am a mom with a lot of experience.  Fortunately, I documented a lot of that while my kids were growing up.  Wish I would have done it sooner.  But I always was a picture taker–trying to capture every minute so I wouldn’t forget.  My kids would get tired of me taking pictures of everything– even when they were crying about loosing a tooth down the sink and the tooth fairy wouldn’t be able to visit.

 

I also had to learn to cook– a LOT!  So when I thought about who I was, I just looked at what I had documented and realized that this is who I truly was…a Mom with some really great kids and some really funny stories, a lot of valuable insight, a whole bunch of recipes, a pack of essential oils and a few creative ideas.

 Becoming

Somewhere along the way through my laughter and tears, and this “becoming,”  I’ve learned that we are not our mistakes. We are something much greater. We ALL have gifts, talents, a divine nature and a divine purpose to fulfill. We need to give credit to our selves and others for moving forward along the path. We need to believe in the best in others and lift and elevate them to become the person they were meant to become.

As a new mom, holding that tiny precious bundle straight from Heaven, didn’t you just look into that tender sweet face and see potential and greatness and glory. That is the glimpse you were given to know the potential of your child. And somewhere along the way, they leave messes, don’t brush their teeth, fight with their siblings, talk back and you wonder where in the heck that little gem you held in your arms went…..well, they are in the process of becoming. And that is what you will find on this website…..funny stories, recipes, inspirations, helps, tips and tricks, and all the good stuff that helps us to know that as imperfect as we may be as a mother, our love really can conquer all!

So this site is “all about becoming”….

 

A GOOD COOK– for some reason, I have always associated good cooking with being a good mother.  Maybe it’s because my grandma was always a good cook and my mom, too.  In spite of the fact that I was the PICKIEST eater on the planet, she raised me with good food and a love for fresh foods from the garden, although I was an adult before I ate any vegetables outside of corn and potatoes.  Hopefully this site will give you some quick tips and pointers about making cooking easy and fun.  I LOVE good food and I enjoy cooking it, but it has to be easy and fast.  Once in a while I’ll take on a challenge, but for everyday feeding your family and their friends and some neighbors or whomever drops in, I need fast and easy.  Perhaps this site will help you to become a good cook.

 

A REAL MOM– As I said in my lengthy diatribe, becoming a good mom was paramount in my goals.  This is a place where you can see all the mess ups, mistakes and funny stories that just come with parenting.  If nothing else, it will make you look really good if you need ammunition for the future.   You know, like when a friend is trying to tell you that you aren’t doing this and that right;  you can just say, “yeah, but on all about becoming, you should hear what SHE did!”  If nothing else, it will help you know that you are okay and a good parent and there are many of us out there trying hard to do our best.  I’m a REAL Mom, not a perfect mom.

I’ve learned quite a few lessons along the way, including how to help a child who is struggling.  I think I have a few insights that can help any mom (or dad) in that situation.  So this site will be about parenting and all the ups and downs, the malapropisms, vocabulary words, andall the funny stories.  It’s meant to be funny and joyful and happy and put a smile on your face.  Hopefully, you will come to love and appreciate all the joy I’ve had in raising this crop of kids.  It will also be the place where I will post about marriage and family.  I hope to share insights and helps I have learned and bring in some of my expert friends to help out.

ABUNDANT– this is a place where I plan to post my thoughts from the scriptures, my place to express gratitude and show God’s hand in my life, and to write about some of the things I have learned in my training from Leslie Householder.  Hopefully this will be a place for you to be uplifted and inspired.

Imagine the pain when one of my kids made some serious choices. My biggest fear of being a BAD mom had just hit me in the face. You can read about it here.

 

It took years for me to work-through, study, learn, pray, and think my way through this difficulty. I had many tools, people, books, classes, inspirations, and help along the way. You can read about those here. I have walked through the valley of Hell and lived to tell about. And I think I have some pretty good counsel and advice for anyone taking a trip through. (Although I don’t recommend it.) ;o)

This is where I share my story of struggle and triumph, my businesses, my trainings, my books and all the good stuff I have used to help me grow.  I have a free download of some of the things I have learned on this page and also have information on courses and classes that I love.

HEALTHY and DOTERRA are pages where you will find articles I write about keeping your family healthy.  I LOVE Doterra oils and I USE them daily.  I’ll probably throw in other things I do to keep my family healthy, but this is what I will focus on.  You will love the articles and information there.

 

I am hoping that you begin to love “All About Becoming” and that there will be something here each day to lift and inspire you to become who you are to become.  Please leave comments.  It helps me to know I am making a difference.

 

If there’s one thing I’ve learned already, it’s this:  Becoming a good mom happens over a lifetime, not in a year or a decade.  And being there through all these up’s and down’s is exactly what being a mom is all about.  I’m grateful to a husband who has always been a good provider that I could be home and trusted me enough to raise his kids, in spite of all my faults.  I credit him the most for the great kids I have.  He’s an incredible dad and husband.

 

I hope that this site helps you to understand who you are to become and gives you the helps, insights, classes and education you need to discover the greatness in you for yourself!

 

Here’s to your life and becoming who you are!

Love to all,

Denise

family pict

 

PS. If you’d like to read the full un-cut embellished version of the story in my TEDx talk about when I left my baby at the store, you can read it here.